Better days

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I am taking this opportunity to share a little piece of what’s going on with my life lately, and I may be doing a little ranting along the way, so I hope you will still read through this blog post. Haha.

The Lenten Season for the Roman Catholics is one of the most important season, along with Christmas Season, because, according to the people with advanced knowledge in Roman Catholic faith, it was during this season when our Redeemer, Jesus Christ, was crucified many many years age. It was in this season when Jesus Christ sacrificed his life of us. I want you to focus on the word “sacrifice”, because I will be using that word again a little later. Haha.

Fast forward to year 2016, I am using the so-called “Holy Week” partly to pray and reflect, and partly to finish whatever schoolwork I have not finished yet. Yes. This is my form of sacrifice. I am supposed to use this Holy Week to go to different churches and pray with my family. I am supposed to use this Holy Week to be at peace and be close to God. I am supposed to use this Holy Week to talk to God. But what happened? I am still doing my usual day-to-day routine. I still read my academic books, I still make my research, and I still study. I should be with my family right now. I should be out there going to different churches, meeting new people, and exploring different places. I should be living my life.

You see, this is a little odd to me. Because this is a new form of sacrifice to me. I need to do all the things that I am doing right now with the presumption that everything will be better in the end. I need to take a pause in life, so that I will have better days. I should sacrifice today for a better tomorrow.

I know time will come when I will look back on these days when I was still struggling, and I know I will smile while thinking about today.

 

So how about you? Have you been in a situation where you need to sacrifice something really important? How so? :)

Test of Patience

Photo credit: Google Images

Have you ever been frustrated due to a person’s incompetence? Have you reached that point when you want to tell him/her that he/she needs to step up even just a little because his/her incompetence affects you already?

But before I proceed, I hope you will not misconstrue this blog post as avenue for me to stir up my arrogance or incapability-shaming. So, here’s my story.

 

Lately, I faced one of the biggest test of patience that I could possibly have, and that is dealing with incompetent people. Incompetent people, as per my experience, are those persons who fail to reach a certain set of standards that is expected for them to reach. Their failure to reach the expected set of standards may e done (by them) either accidentally or deliberately. On one hand, I like helping other people and I love inspiring other people to work harder and to do better. I want other people to progress with me. On the other hand, I don’t like helping other people who DO NOT WANT to help themselves and I do not like doing things for other people who use and abuse my kindness towards them.

 

Up to this very moment, I hate the fact that I have to be stuck with incompetent people, it drains every single piece of strength that I have in my body to be around them. I really like to help them and I would love to see them smile whenever they accomplish something great, but then how can I help them if they don’t even want to help themselves? How can I give them the sweet feeling of euphoria on each and every big task that they accomplish? How can I help them to be better? Oh, the agony.

 

A very good friend of mine told me that I should probably back off and let those incompetent people suffer the consequences of their actions (and omissions, which are pretty much really). But then as much as I would like to stay away from them, they keep coming back to me asking for my help. And you know what? Surprisingly, I don’t get the “joy of giving” whenever I help them. It is as if I am obligated and mandated by a very strict dictator to help those incompetent people. They ask so much favor from me, some of it are actually physically (and financially) impossible for me to fulfill. And, they stress me out! Oh gosh! There was this one time when this girl wants to borrow a huge amount of money from me just because she left her purse in their house! I mean, c’mon! I am not a walking-talking bank! Haha. From that point, I told myself that it is too much, and I’ve had enough.

 

This time, I will stop helping people who do not even want to help themselves. Their incompetence and irresponsibility is way above my threshold. I will help them if they really NEED my help. Nope, not again. Not anymore. I owe it to myself.

 

As far as I can remember.

Gone are the days that I treat my blog as my best friend. To the point that I post blog entries that are relevant to my current mood.
Also, gone are the days that I actually blog about my feelings. Maybe because I am scared that the people who will read my blog entries will find me too vulnerable, too weak. As far as I can remember, I write about whatever my heart says.

 

School, as usual

I find it a little funny whenever I feel like I am on the peak of my life, and then my life will get f*cked up within 0.000002 seconds.

So here’s my story..

Today, I studied (very hard) for this one major subject that I have. I tried memorizing and analyzing every specific detail that I need to know. I was 100% prepared for today’s lessons. But we I got (cold-)called for our usual recitations, I was not able to say the best answer that I can possibly give. Heck, I even stuttered while I was reciting. I did not expect that from myself, not today.

I don’t want to sound as if I am whining, but how can I let myself down?! It frustrates me when I don’t study that well. What makes me even more frustrated is the fact that I was not able to give the perfect answer even if I know, deep down, that I studied very hard today. It sucks, right?

So, here I am in my room, trying to convince myself that everything will get better, even my grades. Haha. I think I need to go now, I need to study even more, knowing the fact that I sucked at school today.

 

So, how about you? What frustrates you the most?