Summer 2014.

HELLO VACATION! 🙂 Yay!

Academic year 2012-2013 just ended, and that means SUMMER IS HERE! 🙂 But then, the summer heat is sucking away all the energy in me. Haha.

Anyhow, I was (again) MIA for 5 months because of school. I need to focus more on a lot of academic stuff. So, yeah. Haha.

So, what am I up to this summer? I am planning to use most of my time to read novels and watch movies. Haha. And, probably, I will try to catch up with some of my friends outside Grad School. On a more serious note, I am thinking of taking summer classes, but then, that would ruin the whole idea of “vacation”, right? Haha. I still have one week to think about it. Haha. 🙂

 

In case you miss me (or not), you can catch me regularly tweeting on my Twitter account (@jen_speaks) 🙂 In case you’ll follow me on Twitter, please forgive my usual word vomit or emotional diarrhea, in case you’ll read some of my rants in Twitter. Haha. 🙂

 

Oh, gotta go now, I have some novels to read and some smoothies to drink! Happy Summer everyone! 🙂

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Typhoon Haiyan.

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(Photo Credits: Retrieved from ABSCBN’s twitter account)

I live in the Philippines. I have seen, witnessed, and even experienced some natural calamities and disasters that happened here in our country. I thought, all the while, that I have experienced the worst when it comes to typhoons because we used to live in a low-lying area, and floods are quite “normal” to us every time there is a storm or typhoon. But now, my whole perspective changed when I saw some clippings and video footages of how Typhoon Haiyan, or as we locally call it “Typhoon Yolanda”, literally destroyed some parts of our country. I can’t put into words all of my emotions whenever I watch news programs. Honestly, I can’t stand watching the news anymore. My heart breaks whenever I see the current situation in the provinces of Samar, Leyte, and Bohol.

For those who don’t know, the eastern part of the Philippines was hit by “the strongest typhoon in the world, EVER!”, or as we all call it, Typhoon Haiyan. Such event happened few days after a strong earthquake literally destroyed some parts of the provinces of Cebu and Bohol (here in the Philippines). So, you see, a strong earthquake hit our country in the month of October, and then the strongest typhoon hit our country in the month of November. What’s in store for us for the month of December? I don’t know. 🙁

Now, I am asking for your help. Yes, all of you. If you have few extra clothes, toiletries, hygiene materials, canned goods, bottled water, etc., please donate it for the typhoon victims. In my case, I donated some of my clothes and some of my savings. This is best time to share and take an active participation in our community. Again, I humbly ask for some of your “treasures”. My fellow countrymen needs it.

Oh, to those organizations, clubs, associations, countries, unions, etc. who helped the typhoon victims recover from their loss, THANK YOU SO MUCH! I know, at some point, we, Filipinos, will repay your kindness and generosity. Again, thank you so much! 🙂

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Sure shot.

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I kept on asking myself “why the heck all of these sh*t need to happen to me?!”, few moments thereafter, I found this quote (the one in the picture above). Crazy as it seems, you have to go through something that will pull you downward, so that you can bounce back again. Let me called that the “arrow effect”. The Arrow Effect is whenever something is pulling you back from your own pursuit of happiness, but you were able make a perfect shot through all of those negative things in your life that keeps on pulling you back. A good example, maybe, are your setbacks and/or your insecurities. If you cannot forgive your self and break free from your setbacks, that will result to some kind of insecurity that will pull you back from your own progress. You don’t want that, do you? 🙂

Now, I am in the first stage of the Arrow Effect. I am on my lowest. And no, this is not about my setbacks and insecurities anymore. It is more than that. It is more of an interpersonal problem, rather than an intrapersonal one. It seems like every single thing in my life are crashing down, and those circumstances are beyond my control. Sure, I tried to think of ways on how to gain control over the situation, but it seems like there a little or no chance at all for me to actually control everything that is happening in my life. So, for the meantime, I’ll just let things fall down, hoping that it will land on the right places, at the right time. As of now, I will feel whatever pain I am going through right now, weakness has no room in my heart, so, the only option that is left for me is to be strong.

Again, I am on my lowest, as if something is pulling me back from my own pursuit of happiness. But one thing is for sure, I’ll take a good aim, I’ll fire away, and probably make a perfect shot through all these shiznits that I have, right now. I will fire a good, clean, and sure shot.

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It takes time.

 

I know, I know. I know that I have been out of the blogosphere for 34536345345 light years. (Exaggeration intended). Well, anyway, I am here. And, I’m back. 😛  Actually, I’m here to post about my latest realization, and that is about SELF-HELP.

Remember the old saying “You are your own medicine”? Well yes, it is true! True to the core! It took me a great while to notice that if I change my perspective about a certain person or situation, I might make a big difference in my life too. Why? Because lately, life has been very very tough to me. As if I have no reason or right to live peacefully. I’ve been stressed, depressed, lost, alone, vulnerable, all of it enveloped in my heart, and it has been there for months already. I really want all of those negative emotions to get out of my body. I want to free my self from agony, to put it simply. You know what I did? I started not to hang out with the “negative people” in my life. Not that I closed my doors to them, it’s just I stopped being with them all them time. And, man, it feels great! From there, too much positive vibes went in to my system. So, I think I was able to lessen the stress that I feel by one degree. Haha.

 

On to my second step. The next step that I did was to stop thinking negative thoughts. Whenever a certain challenge comes my way, be it big or small, I always keep in my mind that I am the strongest person alive. I think you should try that too, you’ll love it! That’s why I started to have this “I-got-this-shit” type of personality. To be honest, I was an alpha-female. Yes, I WAS an alpha. I tried to tame my “alpha-ness” before because I was being scooted as an arrogant person, which, obviously, is so not me! But now, I think I need to bring back my alpha attitude. So, I guess that is the real me. An alpha-female. But now, I am more refined than before. I should call my self an “alpha-lady”. Haha. Once an alpha, always an alpha. 🙂

 

And now, I am in the process of my third step, which is to respect my body. Your mind tells you what you want, your heart tells you what you need, and your conscience tells you what to do. So, yes, I respect whatever my body tells me what to do. I cannot actually tell you if I am successful on this step, but rest assured, I am 80% through this. I hope I can make it!

 

My mantra for this month: What my mind can perceive, my body can achieve.

 

So how about you? How can you free yourself from agony?

 

 

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My favorite day.

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Oh yes. I celebrated my birthday yesterday. 🙂 I am a June baby, and I’ve been alive for 22 years already. 🙂 And please, let us treat this blog entry as my birthday post.

Some of you may ask whether or not I am a better person now than what I was a year ago. The answer is affirmative. Last year, I experienced and overcame one of my biggest fears, and that is failure. My heart was crushed in pieces, but I managed to put all the pieces back again and actually make a stronger one. I am more independent, more reliable, more ambitious, more fierce, and more persistent. Sure, there were times that I want to back down, I even planned my life on a different path. But my desire to go on and continue whatever I’m doing makes me stay on this path. Whew! The pressure of being in the career of my choice! Haha.

So, am I actually a “changed person” now? Well, not really. I just changed some, if not all of my negative qualities that I can possibly see. I decided to retain the positive qualities that I have (if ever I have one). Haha! 🙂

What do I yearn for this new year? For me, new year connotes new chances. Hence, an opportunity to change or be changed. I’ll drop all the drama, stay away from negativity, stay away from people who don’t want me (not that I’m not likeable. Haha), and I will strive to live my life with positivity. 🙂

My message to my 21-year-old-self: Job well done! You’ve been crushed, wrecked, stepped on for numerous times but your still living your life with a smile on your face. Hey, you are strong! I am proud of you. 🙂

To all June babies out there, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🙂

Oh, if you have questions, you can ask me here: http://ask.fm/justaskjen

PLUGS SO GLAMOROUS | SO PRETTY | SO GORGEOUS | BARELY BREATHING

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